Why I don’t Like Going to Lenten Services
Yes, there was a time I dreaded going to Lenten Services, and it showed by my late arrival. They were long, boring, could not concentrate, and I had to stand a lot. Seemed like a waste of time when I had so many other pressing things to do. Ever feel that way?
Maybe that is the way we feel about prayer in general. Maybe praying is hard or uncomfortable or ‘not real’, just something I am supposed to do, more like an obligation than a real relationship. I can understand that because I have been there too.
But now I have to go, I am the priest. Who else would do the services? But I no longer dread them. I look forward to them. Sure, I get paid for them; paid to pray huh. Perhaps. But more importantly, having been ‘forced’, so to speak, to participate in them, I have discovered their internal beauty, their harmony; they are food for the soul. We don’t get to that understanding by a casual glance, it takes perseverance, and many hours and much practice to unlock the mystery of these time-tested services. We don’t change them, they change us.
But it takes effort. It takes putting yourself in the position to experience them, not once but again and again.
What exactly changes? Everything I would say. Starting with the realization of what is truly important in life and therefore both satisfying and fulfilling. This spills over to every aspect of our life, every decision we make, every feeling we feel. We let go off expectations and agendas and we live in the “precious present”, because that is where God is. He is not in the past, it is gone. He is not in the future, because it has not arrived yet. He is in the present and in eternity, and our only option is the present. Therefore, services are experiencing God in the present, so that when I leave them, I can learn to stay in the present. That I can practice His presence in every moment, whether the moment is challenging, frustrating, disappointing, even exhilarating, I stay focused, I don’t try to escape, avoid or self medicate.
Therefore, I have no better place to be but present to the present.
When it is time to pray then, I go to the services, I embrace them, I participate in them, I draw from them the treasure that they offer. The first week of Great Lent, we go to the Cannon of St. Andrew of Crete because it prepares us to get the most out of Lent by reviewing the whole of Salvation History and our place within it. Pre-Sanctified Liturgies give us the Body and Blood of Christ at the time we most need nourishment and strength. The Akathist Hymn lets us thank the Panayia for her obedience as we try and emulate the beautiful, dynamic, and heroic role she played in salvation history.
And having been filled, trained and prepared through the Divine Services we are then able to go out into the world bringing the “Peace of Christ that passes all understanding.
If you have not gone to Lenten Services in the past, there is no better time than the ‘present’.
Fr. Anthony